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This is what comes out of my head when I sit by the pool watching my kid get squirted in the face with a water-blaster. It’s one week’s worth of haikus about dieting, weight, and body image (with more to come). I wore a swimsuit while writing these. Gotta walk the body-image talk.


Pizza, I love you

But only eat kale, or else

Fitness friends will shun


Body positive

Can’t imagine it, ever

Bought into the lie


Must eat paleo

Because the trainer guy says

He’s cute; he must know


Every part of me

Should change, so the ads all say

Anxiety rules


Protein powder will

Fix my body and life, though

It tastes like ground chalk


Diets give me hope

Every Monday, hold my breath

Damn! Blew it by noon


If thin then worthy

Keeps me walking on tightrope

Never thin enough