Do you want to keep fighting your body
for the rest of your life?

I didn’t think so.

Enrollment is open for Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too), a three-month program to help you feel guilt-free around food* and at ease in your body.

*(Yup, even around cake.)

You know the drill. You look at your thighs and swear things must change.

So you plan a diet; get excited; start on Monday; feel hopeful; order steamed broccoli for lunch; feel virtuous; weigh self – yay!; drink green smoothies.

So far, so good.

But then you meet up with your long-lost love – Pizza. You have a torrid foodie call all weekend. But it’s okay, you’ll just get this affair out Finger Trapof your system and start fresh on Monday (again!). You’ll throw Pizza’s belongings out the window and change the locks.

But Pizza has a way with you. Pizza knows you can never stay away for very long.

No matter how hard you try, eventually fall under the spell of Pizza. And French Fries. And Cake. You can swear them off, but it’s always temporary.

The harder you try, the more you’re stuck.

You end up ricocheting back and forth between being in control around food – and having your face planted in a box of donuts.

While you sit on a pile of dirty laundry in your closet.

It’s not about the food. And it’s not about your ability to control yourself.

It’s really about your relationship with food.

That's why I created

Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too)

Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) is a three-month program for women who have created success in many parts of their lives, but haven’t been able to crack the code on this whole eating and body-image thing.

Hi, I’m Barb Spanjers, and I’ve been there, done that.

Spanjers headshotAs a therapist and wellness coach, I’ve made it my mission to help women feel peaceful and at ease around food and in their bodies. (I know – that sounds radical.)

I went on my first diet at age 9. (Yikes!) This started a cycle of crash dieting that made me feel alternately self-righteous, disappointed, hopeful, and then guilt-ridden for eating too much. “Too much” was a normal-sized meal for a teenager.

No surprise – life did not become perfect at my lowest weight. You know what I felt at my lowest weight? HUNGRY! Really, it was a whole lot of effort and misery for a whole lot of nothing. Not to mention all the Saran wrap I wasted wrapping up my thighs.

This is me at 11, thinking I'm fat. Also feeling really, really hungry.

This is me at 11, thinking I’m fat.

Ditching the diet mindset opened up a whole world where I could focus on other, more important things.

When I stopped going on stupid diets (“stupid” = all diets), my weight stabilized. But what was even better was that when I stopped counting calories, measuring out food, or obsessing about meals, my life changed.

Also? I can sit in a room unsupervised with a box of Girl Scout cookies without white-knuckling it.

And I want the same for you.

Does This Sound Like You?

Public vs. Private Persona

When anyone sees you, you’re all salad and green smoothies. But when you’re by yourself, it’s a totally different story.

You "Know" What to Do, but Just Don't Do It

But deep down, you really don’t know what to do to stop overeating and even bingeing.

You Do Great for a While

You do really well on a weight loss or healthy eating plan for a while, but something always gets in the way and you blow it eventually.

Your World Is Getting Smaller

You find it difficult to go anywhere where food will be served. You worry that you will either eat too much, or there won’t be the “right” food for you to eat.

There's No Room Left in Your Brain

Thinking about food for literally almost every minute of the day has crowded out mental and emotional space for anything else.

If those sound familiar, then you are in the right place.


Feeling peaceful around food

Even the ones you try to avoid like the plague.

Understanding why diets fail

You aren’t failing – the diets have failed you.

Appreciating your body

Because we take better care of things we love.

Increasing self-esteem

Your weight does not measure your worth. Promise.

Recognizing your body's cues

So you can stop eating before you’re stuffed.

Ditching the negative

Guilt, shame, and negative judgment never help you take better care of yourself.

If you can’t imagine how Have Your CAKE can change your life, take it from women just like you:

Have Your Cake is well organized and presented in an easy-to-understand manner. It’s given me the belief that it is possible to accept myself and to allow myself to stop waiting on the weight.
Jamie P.

Many of us have forgotten that our body knows what is best for us. This is HUGE. I feel relief. To be able to forget all the overwhelming BS that is fed into my brain about weight and diet and what I should be doing is very freeing.
Missy M.

I am less preoccupied with food and am eating a lot healthier. Before, I was quite an all-or-nothing person – very “clean” foods or fries, with not much in between. Now that I can have anything I want I feel less need to stuff things in that I don’t really want…so it’s working.
Sky H.

The perfectionism topic really hit home! It has always been a HUGE struggle for me. It’s comforting to now have tools which help me work toward correcting it.
Tammy M.

Yes, I Want CAKE!

Save my seat

Here's how the program works

Twelve Weeks | Seven Core Modules

Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) includes seven core learning modules delivered over three months. Because you are embarking on a major shift for your wellbeing, there are “integration” weeks built into the schedule. This is time to rest and practice what you’ve been learning. It’s also a great time to revisit material at your leisure, or catch up on what you didn’t have time to do. (Rule #1: No Judgment!)

When you enroll in the Program, you will have immediate access to the first learning module. The learning materials are located in a members-only area for your convenience. That way, you never have to worry about losing an email.

The modules are a mix of video, audio, readings, and worksheets/exercises. Each week focuses on a different area that is crucial for you to step away from a diet mindset and step toward body acceptance and trust.

Additionally, there will be Virtual Office Hours held twice monthly.

Week 1: Module 1 - Biology and Physiology of Weight & Dieting
Learn the science behind why diets don’t work, and how they inevitably make things worse.
Week 2: Module 2 - Respect Your Body
Start getting back in touch with your body’s cues of hunger, fullness, and satisfaction. Diets and weight loss programs create a disconnect between you and your body. It’s time to reboot your inner wisdom.
Week 3: Rest and Integration
This is space to practice what you’ve been learning. Integrate the material. Catch up or revisit parts of the modules. Rest.
Week 4: Module 3 - No Judginess Allowed
When you stop judging food as morally good or bad, it’s one of the most crucial mindset shifts you can make. You might worry that taking the phrase “junk food” out of your vocabulary will make you dive head-first into a bag of tortilla chips, but I promise you it’s the key to food freedom.
Week 5: Rest and Integration
This is space to practice what you’ve been learning. Integrate the material. Catch up or revisit parts of the modules. Rest.
Week 6: Module 4 - Mindful Eating
Start incorporating mindful eating experiences into your day for greater calm.
Week 7: Module 5 - Toxic Culture
Start to challenge the toxic cultural messages that keep us hating our bodies and obsessing about food. Advertising, TV, social media, magazines, and heck – even our friends and families – send us messages that work against wellbeing.
Week 8: Rest and Integration
This is space to practice what you’ve been learning. Integrate the material. Catch up or revisit parts of the modules. Rest.
Week 9: Emotional Eating
Do you eat your feelings? Learn ways to better cope with your feelings and decrease emotional eating. And – surprise! – learn why you don’t need to banish emotional eating completely.
Week 10: Rest and Integration
This is space to practice what you’ve been learning. Integrate the material. Catch up or revisit parts of the modules. Rest.
Week 11: Module 7 - Rewire Your Brain
Now that you have been learning new practices for several weeks, you have started the process of rewiring your brain. In this module, you will learn the basics of neuroscience, and how new neural pathways are formed and strengthened. This is the science behind habit formation and making changes in your life.
Week 12: Integration
This is space to practice what you’ve been learning. Integrate the material. Catch up or revisit parts of the modules. Rest.
Week 13: Follow Up/Catch Up/Wrap Up. Plus a bonus module on Intuitive Exercise!
Now that you’re on the path to freedom and peace with food, it’s time to change your relationship with exercise. If you’ve treated exercise as a punishment, or something you have to do to “earn” your right to eat, this bonus module will help change that.

Is Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) right for you?

CAKE Is for You If:

 You know dieting doesn’t work, but you are not sure what else is possible.
 You show willpower in public, but it’s another story when nobody’s looking.
 You’re fed up with the evil tag team of food-guilt and body-shame sucking the joy out of your life.
 You want to stop battling your body. Maybe even be friends.
 You are tired of your self-esteem ricocheting up and down with whatever the scale says.

No CAKE for You! If:

♥ You have an untreated eating disorder or are in the early stages of treatment.
Dieting is a part of your identity and you don’t want to give it up.
 You enjoy eating styrofoam rice cakes.
 You want to keep your hobby of judging what’s in other people’s shopping carts.
 Your main goal is to lose weight. (Weight loss is not goal of this program. If you experience weight loss from Have Your CAKE, it is a side effect of healing your relationship with food.)

Yes, save my seat

Gimme CAKE!

They came, they saw, they had CAKE.
More kind words:

What is really great is learning how to stop the negative thoughts and feelings about your body.
Lee-Ann H.

This is not just about eating habits, this is about getting back to the core self.
Missy M.

So much information that I connect with. Thank you so much!
Chrysta M.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if I fall behind the program schedule?
I know you are probably busy! No worries – the schedule says three months, but your access doesn’t expire. You will have ongoing access to the online course area. You will also be able to download the materials to keep for yourself forever. So not only can you catch up during the “official” program, but you can revisit the material over and over.
I'm worried that if I don't have an eating plan to follow, I'll lose control.
It may seem counterintuitive, but following external rules of what, when, and how much to eat makes you more likely to overeat and even binge! Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) is designed to help you start reclaiming your own wisdom about eating and appreciation for your body. When you shift your mindset about food, it will feel like you’re riding without training wheels at first. But the program content and coaching support will help you learn to trust yourself.
It sounds like you are telling me to eat a bunch of junk food and ignore nutrition. Is that true?
Nutrition is important, but the most important thing at first is to normalize your relationship with food. Knowing about nutrition is not the same thing as having a healthy relationship with food. You probably already know a lot about nutrition, but since you’re still reading this far down the page, I’m betting that book knowledge hasn’t helped you coexist peacefully with baguettes.
Money is tight for me right now.
I hear you. When you think of how much money you spent in the past on diet plans and special food that didn’t deliver on its promise, it makes perfect sense that you are looking for value. Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) is an online program, but it’s really a jumpstart for a major mindset shift that can radically change your life.

For your ease and convenience, payment options are available.

What if I sign up but then decide this program is not right for me?
If you have any questions about whether Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) is a match for you, please reach out and I will answer any questions you may have. You may email me or schedule a time to talk on the phone.

The refund policy is seven (7) days from the date of your enrollment, so if you have concerns, speak to your healthcare professional within that timeframe. Any requests for a refund after the 7-day window will be handled on a case-by-case basis and must be accompanied by a letter from your licensed physician, licensed psychotherapist, or registered dietitian.

Will I lose weight?
Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) is not a weight loss program. However, as you repair your relationship with food and your body, you may see physical changes. You might lose weight. You might stay the same. You might even gain weight (at least temporarily) as your body gets used to normal eating.

What won’t stay the same, though, is your mindset! Have Your CAKE is designed to help you lose guilt, shame, and negative judgment. Or as one client put it, “In the past, eating was always a shameful thing for me. But now I can have inspiring experiences with it.”

Is this therapy?
Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy with a licensed mental health professional. However, Have Your CAKE can be a great addition to your therapeutic work. Barbara Spanjers is licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist in the State of Nevada. However, all content pertaining to Have Your CAKE is within the field of coaching, not psychotherapy.


If you still have questions, or just want to get a better feel for whether Have Your CAKE (and Feel Peaceful, Too) is right for you, I’d love to help! Just email me, or schedule a time to talk by phone.

Yes, please

Yes, I want CAKE!